Pretty Little Dolly

DEAR SANTA CLAUS:

MY MOMMY AND DADDY SAID THAT IF I WAS VERY GOOD, I COULD HAVE WHATEVER I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS. WELL, I WOULD LIKE A DOLLY FOR CHRISTMAS. IT IS A VERY SPECIAL DOLLY. I HEARD IT ADVERTISED ON THE RADIO. IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW WHICH DOLLY I MEAN, I WILL TRY TO DESCRIBE IT TO YOU.

THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY CAN SIT.

THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY CAN STAND.

SHE WILL EVEN WALK AROUND THE ROOM IF YOU TAKE HER HAND.

THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY CAN TURN.

THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY CAN DANCE.

IF YOU FEED HER WATER THROUGH A TUBE, SHE'LL WET HER PANTS.

CLOSE TO FIRES......SHE PERSPIRES.

IF YOU GIVE HER A PLAYFUL SQUEEZE,

SHE WILL COUGH, AND BELCH AND SNEEZE.

OH THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY'S SO CUTE.

THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY'S SO REAL.

IF YOU TAKE HER OUT INTO THE SUN, SHE BURNS

AND THREE DAYS LATER SHE'LL PEEL.

THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY CAN SING.

THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY CAN SHOUT.

HOLD HER FOOTSIES HIGH ABOVE HER HEAD, AND SHE PASSES OUT. (Whee!)

THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY CAN PLEAD.

THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY CAN BEG.

AND SHE SCREAMS IN REALISTIC PAIN WHEN YOU BREAK HER LEG. (Sorry, Dolly. Sorry!)

HEAVY DRINKING, GETS HER STINKING.

ON HER BACK YOU CAN TURN A KEY,

AND SHE GOES THROUGH PUBERTY. (Hello!)

OH THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY CAN WET.

THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY CAN CRY.

IF YOU PUT A PLASTIC BAG AROUND HER HEAD...

SHE'LL CHOKE, TURN PURPLE AND DIE.

OH SANTA, REMEMBER YOUR PART.

DON'T BREAK A LITTLE GIRL'S HEART.

DON'T FORGET THIS CHRISTMAS, THE PRETTY LITTLE DOLLY IS THE PRESENT YOU MUST LEAVE.

REMEMBER THAT FAT BOY, BRING THAT KID, IF YOU WANT TO SEE NEW YEAR'S EVE. (You old coot!)